It still hurts when someone leaves you, in any capacity. Even if they’re still there, when it changes, and it feels bad, it hurts.
But…I think it’ll be okay. I’m gonna be fine because change is okay, it’s not inherently bad, it’s just different.
I’m going to try and sleep now…
I learned that from Tumblr
…BUBBLES. BUBBLES CAN YOU SEE THIS.
are YOU FUCKIGN KIDDING EM THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING EDITING I HAVE SEEN EVER WOW
HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN OH MAN DAT GIF-MAKING SKILL
BUBBLES ARE YOU SEEING THIS ON MY DASH OH MY GOD I’M DONE.
I was kind of down for a moment, but then, I had some sort of…epiphany of contentedness.
I’m surrounded by friends that love me, and even if I can’t see them, I know they’re there. I think…I think that this is what having self confidence and self respect might be like. Because I don’t *NEED* these things on a crippling level. I don’t NEED to have all these people love me or like me, or whatever (it’s super nice to have you all, though). I kind of feel like my anxiety is slipping away.
Things that I would have spent literal years agonizing over, maybe a couple months, or even weeks for the small things. I hit a crisis last weekend. But that was last weekend, and by the time Tuesday rolled around, I had been done thinking about it. It’s. It’s just absolutely liberating.
I’m not terrified of what people think of me anymore. Sure, as that thing is one of my deep seated fears and problems, a need for all the people to love me all the time, and constantly wanting reassurance, it…it doesn’t mean as much anymore. Suddenly, I feel like, it’s okay if you don’t like me, because I don’t need you to. I’m perfectly content with the people I have, that do like me.
I’m a wonderful friend to have if you stay, but if you don’t want to, that’s okay too. And suddenly, that is not so scary. The people that have left my life in years past, it’s okay. I’ll miss you from time to time, but I won’t sit and wonder if there was more I could have done, something I said, and that is why you left. I’ve been without a romantic partner for a pretty long time, but that’s okay too. Someone just for me is out there. That’s okay.
Heh. I just…I feel good and I wanted to share.
don’t tell me what to do
oh my god
Intellectual conversation is a huge turn on.